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Category Archives: Rant

Athletes And The Oreos Of Doom

I read an article in the NYDaily News in which they talked about Venus Williams, Shaq, Apolo Ohno and Eli Manning promoting the new monstrosity that is the Triple Double Oreo. In just ONE cookie is contained 100 calories and 4.5 grams of fat. Yes, you read that right, you aren’t imaging those numbers. Here is part of a press release that Nabisco has put out concerning their new product.

Team DSRL and OREO Fans Tackle TRIPLE DOUBLE OREO Challenge
To help launch the new cookie, the OREO Brand has enlisted the help of both OREO fans and Team DSRL, including Shaquille O’Neal, Eli Manning Venus Williams, Apolo Ohno and of course, Stufy, the DSRL mascot.  New OREO Double Stuf Racing League TV advertising will begin airing in early September.  DSRL veteran Shaquille O’Neal loves the challenge that the new cookie poses to his team, and wants to know if OREO fans are game. 

“Now that I am retired I can spend more time perfecting my twist, lick and dunk skills, and with an added layer of creme and a third cookie, it’s clear that I am going to need the practice,” said O’Neal.  “I am obviously the dunking expert, but I am working with the rest of Team DSRL to figure out the best way to compete with the TRIPLE DOUBLE OREO cookie.”

Oh, I’m sure that Shaq thought of that quote all by himself! Are you wondering what the heck DSRL means? Here is a quote from that same press release explaining what it is.

The OREO Double Stuf Racing League officially launched in January 2008. To compete in a DSRL lick race, each person twists their cookie open and licks off all the creme.  Then, each person shows their cookie to their opponent, dunks it, eats it and drinks the glass of milk.  The first to finish twisting, licking and dunking wins!

Eating more than just one of these things could quite possibly give you a stomach ache or put you in a diabetic coma, but that’s okay it’ll be fun! What really gets me is that these athletes think it’s okay to promote this crap. I mean seriously, I guess that money is more important to them than telling the truth to children. I can imagine them saying that they are not in it to promote this cookie to children, that they are just having fun and promoting a cookies to everybody. If that is the case then why is there this guy below? I don’t think that dancing cookie was put into commercials and advertisements to please me because I know that there is somebody in the suit. I can imagine kids seeing that cookie and begging their parents to buy the product for them. The strong parents will say no, while the weak ones will give in just to shut up the kids.

Athletes, and celebrities in general, need to start acting more responsible instead of collecting money from companies that promote unhealthy products. Those athletes sure didn’t get into shape by eating unhealthy cookies! Why is it okay for them to promote these products to kids then? Kids aren’t going to get in top physical shape by eating these things, they are going to turn into obese blobs. No, it’s not okay to feed even one of these cookies to your children, and these athletes ought to feel ashamed of themselves for participating in this farce.

Betty Crocker Hates Me

I have some fond memories of the Betty Crocker brand, despite the fact that I would in no way buy any of their products now. Like the time I used their lemon cake mix to make a lemon-lime soda cake with pineapple curd. That was some pretty yummy stuff, unhealthy but yummy. Or the times in which I was too lazy to make my own cake and bought their pineapple upside-down mix. Well, those warm and fuzzy memories have been torn apart and scattered in the breeze.

I can imagine that you are asking ‘What happened that has traumatized you so much?’. Just the other day I found the Betty Crocker page on Facebook and pressed the ‘like’ button. I do this sort of thing to keep tabs on the unhealthy products that these types of companies are pushing. I then posted on their wall the following message:

If you made organic cake mixes you would make some people very happy. Just Saying. 🙂

Now, I see nothing wrong with what I wrote, I was just trying to tell them that if they made organic cake mixes it would be welcome by a group of people that their current products aren’t geared towards. Soon after that I saw them make a wall post asking ‘moms’ how they felt about one of their ads. I wrote the following response to them:

What about those of us who aren’t moms? *sniffle*

I was genuinely wondering why they would only ask ‘moms’ such a question. Childless women and even men also like cake and all sorts of desserts. I went happily around the net for about twenty minutes afterwards thinking that I had done nothing wrong. Boy, did I have a surprise waiting for me!

Betty Crocker not only deleted both my wall post and my response, they also banned me from making wall posts and made me ‘unlike’ them. Yes, apparently Betty Crocker does not like anybody who mentions the word ‘organic’ or who is not a mom. When a company has a Facebook page one assumes that they are open to discussion about their products and are open to hearing suggestions brought forth by consumers. Apparently the only purpose of their page is to advertise their products and to showcase on it consumers who don’t question what is inside of them. I wonder then how seriously does Betty Crocker actually take the general public? It really seems as if they are living in their own little cake world in which all consumers are happy with their products and will buy any new disgusting concept that they bring forth to the market.

Contending with a questioning consumer is obviously not something Betty Crocker is good at or they wouldn’t have deleted my posts or banned me from posting on their page. I am not a mom and I eat pretty healthy, so I am some sort of exotic beast that they must push out of their cake jungle instead of responding to me and showing me some respect by answering what I wrote. I don’t in any way fit into their demographic, so I must be ignored.

What has this taught me? This whole thing has just confirmed what I have already known; most food companies do not care about what you think at all. They really don’t. As long as there are people out there who will buy and eat their junk they will ignore those who question what they make and how they conduct business. The most important thing that we can do is to keep questioning them and not let them think that we are just going to go away when they ignore us. In order to gain respect you have to give it and I have none for Betty Crocker.