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Athletes And The Oreos Of Doom

I read an article in the NYDaily News in which they talked about Venus Williams, Shaq, Apolo Ohno and Eli Manning promoting the new monstrosity that is the Triple Double Oreo. In just ONE cookie is contained 100 calories and 4.5 grams of fat. Yes, you read that right, you aren’t imaging those numbers. Here is part of a press release that Nabisco has put out concerning their new product.

Team DSRL and OREO Fans Tackle TRIPLE DOUBLE OREO Challenge
To help launch the new cookie, the OREO Brand has enlisted the help of both OREO fans and Team DSRL, including Shaquille O’Neal, Eli Manning Venus Williams, Apolo Ohno and of course, Stufy, the DSRL mascot.  New OREO Double Stuf Racing League TV advertising will begin airing in early September.  DSRL veteran Shaquille O’Neal loves the challenge that the new cookie poses to his team, and wants to know if OREO fans are game. 

“Now that I am retired I can spend more time perfecting my twist, lick and dunk skills, and with an added layer of creme and a third cookie, it’s clear that I am going to need the practice,” said O’Neal.  “I am obviously the dunking expert, but I am working with the rest of Team DSRL to figure out the best way to compete with the TRIPLE DOUBLE OREO cookie.”

Oh, I’m sure that Shaq thought of that quote all by himself! Are you wondering what the heck DSRL means? Here is a quote from that same press release explaining what it is.

The OREO Double Stuf Racing League officially launched in January 2008. To compete in a DSRL lick race, each person twists their cookie open and licks off all the creme.  Then, each person shows their cookie to their opponent, dunks it, eats it and drinks the glass of milk.  The first to finish twisting, licking and dunking wins!

Eating more than just one of these things could quite possibly give you a stomach ache or put you in a diabetic coma, but that’s okay it’ll be fun! What really gets me is that these athletes think it’s okay to promote this crap. I mean seriously, I guess that money is more important to them than telling the truth to children. I can imagine them saying that they are not in it to promote this cookie to children, that they are just having fun and promoting a cookies to everybody. If that is the case then why is there this guy below? I don’t think that dancing cookie was put into commercials and advertisements to please me because I know that there is somebody in the suit. I can imagine kids seeing that cookie and begging their parents to buy the product for them. The strong parents will say no, while the weak ones will give in just to shut up the kids.

Athletes, and celebrities in general, need to start acting more responsible instead of collecting money from companies that promote unhealthy products. Those athletes sure didn’t get into shape by eating unhealthy cookies! Why is it okay for them to promote these products to kids then? Kids aren’t going to get in top physical shape by eating these things, they are going to turn into obese blobs. No, it’s not okay to feed even one of these cookies to your children, and these athletes ought to feel ashamed of themselves for participating in this farce.


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  1. Pingback: Athletes And The Oreos Of Doom | Passing through Menopause Gracefully

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